Salman Khan

Introducing…the man who launched Athiya Shetty into oblivion…. The man who gave temporary fame to Daisy Shah, Zareen Khan and Bhoomika Chawla….The man who if adorns a hairstyle, it becomes a faishion trend…the man who if spells human being wrong, it becomes a charitable foundation…the man who if butchers a dance move on set, it becomes a new style of dance…the entire career of Katrina Kaif…the most eligible bachelor at 51yrs old…The destroyer of Vivek Oberoi’s career…The “Bhaijaan” of Bollywood….SALMAN KHAN.

*****Black bucks run everywhere and people leave the streets to sleep in their houses***

Salman Khan or as Indians, Pakistanis, British, Americans, Palestinians, Germans and Bagladesish like to call him “Bhai” was born on 27 December 1965. The birth name of Salman is “Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan”. What? You did not know that? Now it makes sense why his movies are so lengthy, just so that he can compensate the time saved in calling out his name.

Salman is an Actor (arguably), Producer (monetarily), television personality (definitely), singer (shockingly) and a philanthropist( accidentally). For all those Salman fans out there who couldn’t complete their 10th standard and don’t know the meaning of philanthropist, it is a person who does a lot of charity, like giving money to poor, home to the homeless, job to the jobless, film to the filmless (*cough*Sohail and Arbaz khan*cough*), etc.

While gathering information on Salman, I came across an article which showed his stunt double having a photo with SRK.

Screenshot_20170712-065433_01

Now you may ask that what’s the big deal, why do we have it here? Right? What made me do that is this line in the article.

Screenshot_20170712-065531_01_01

 

How does this human even look like Salman??
For those who haven’t got the opportunity to see Salman even once, here is a side by side pic of him and his body double

Screenshot_20170712-065425_01_01

***Salman to the right***

Even a 5th standard kid who is brain-dead, oh sorry, pretty harsh word right, I will try again with a synonym that is milder. Even a 5th standard kid who is a fan of Salman can make out difference between the two. Enough about the body double, we are here to talk about the original.

Salman is known as a family hero in Bollywood. Why so you ask? Because he has not had any intimate scenes on-screen yet, not even a kiss, not even a peck on the cheeks, not even a hug that lasts over 5 seconds and if that wasn’t enough, he doesn’t allow anyone to have one in whichever movies he produces. So “sanskaari”(person with values) . Salman leaves his acting and his values both on set, because in real life, he is a women basher(* exhibit 1 *Aishwarya Rai), Alcoholic ( No evidence necessary) and a chain smoker ( he was even spotted smoking in a child’s reality show).

Salman made his first impression on Bollywood in Sooraj Barjatiya’s 1989 romance ” Maine pyar kiya” which translates to “I loved” and coincidently enough in 2005 Salman featured in another movie named “Maine pyar kyu kiya” that translates to ” why did I love”. Bhai took 16 years to question the irony of his life. After doing a romantic movies, Salman decided to test his abilities in another genre. So he did films in variety of genres like “Hum Saath Saath hai”(family drama)( directed by Sooraj barjatiya), “Hum aapke hai kaun” (family drama)( directed by Sooraj barjatiya) and the block buster “Prem Rattan Dhan Payo” (family drama)( directed by Sooraj barjatiya). I will write about this movie when I am at the peak of my anger.

Salman is often targeted by media for his comments on 26/11, tweets on Yakub memon and on the Uri attacks. He once said that he feels like a rape victim when he wrestles. But can you literally target a guy who’s tweets are like

“hahahahahahaha hehehehehehe sorry”(posted on 27 sept 2010),

“yup! I call arjun kapoor arjun ranawat”(posted on 28 Apr 2012),

“Want to cm to bihaaaaaaaar n go to uuuuuuuuu pppppppp to n vil do it v soon”(posted on 9 Sept 2010)?

And why do we even consider every statement made by celebrities these days. They look good, doesn’t mean they are intelligent. They have huge number of fans, not huge number of brain cells.

Now I have written only bad about Salman, let’s look at some of his good work. His Being Human foundation sells t-shirts with a portion of the sales going to underpreviliged. His production house (SKBH) funds this foundation. First film made under this banner was Chillar Party (my favourite Bollywood movie till date) that won three National awards. He donated profits of his hit movie “Bajrangi Bhaijaan” to farmers in India. He offered to pay fines of the prisioners in Uttar Pradesh (about 4 million rupees) who had completed their term but couldn’t pay their fine. He has now announced to bear the losses to distributors due to his film Tubelight.

In the end I will like to say that I don’t hate Salman. Whatever written that may seem against him is not criticizing him but his work. Those who are searching for hit and run, black buck case or arms act case, you won’t find them except as a joke in one line.

And that’s about it. I think this is my longest “know your superstar” post till now but come on, anything for Bhai right?

If anyone is offended by this, I am innocent and my driver wrote this for me.

Adios.

 

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